Dear Skinny Me,
A lot has happened since I last wrote.
I hit the 50 pounds lost mark. Wahoooo.
I signed up and completed a 5k. I haven't done a race in about a year and a half. I'm super proud of these accomplishments, but have recently gotten stuck and it's time to get unstuck. . . . . again.
I feel like these letters keep repeating themselves. I have great days, then setbacks, then fall into old habits and ways of thinking. I cannot wait for this cycle to stop and I can see that looking at you, that I will finally learn this.
I was talking to my counselor about this and he said I need to love myself where I am today. He reminded me that my friends, family, and most importantly God love me no matter how much I weigh at my highest or how much I weigh after hitting my goal weight. Everyone love me where I am today and it has nothing to do with my weight.
My family, my friends, and God love me unconditionally, so I need to put no conditions for feeling love from them.It doesn't matter how much weight I lose, they still love me. It doesn't matter what races I do or don't do. It doesn't matter how many people I help or inspire, they still love me. I need to accept myself right now for who I am and how I look. I need to love myself where I am today and get out of the mindset that when I lose the weight I will be happy.
I look at you at goal and am so glad that you figured this out before hitting goal. You are beautiful at goal, but you were just as beautiful before ever losing a pound and you were beautiful during the whole process. Thank you for teaching me to love myself where I am today. Thank you for finally understanding that your weight, your looks, and what you do will not make people love me more or less.
I look at you and am so thankful you never gave up on me.
I'm so thankful for the unconditional love of my family, my friends, and God.
I'm so thankful for a Personal Trainer, and friend, that never gave up on me. Thanks Justin.
I will keep writing these letters no matter how often they seem to repeat themselves. I will do this until I finally get it. I will keep doing this until I FINALLY get to meet you.
Love, Not so skinny me,
Melissa
