Hi, it's me. I'm back.

Dear Skinny Me,

Hi, it's me.  I'm back.  Remember me?  It's been awhile as you can tell from the last letter I wrote you over 6 months ago.  I'm sad to say I lost sight of you.  I thought you left me, but in all reality it was me that turned away.

I had a rough year in 2013.  Lots of ups and downs, mentally, spiritually, and physically.  You know that when things get rough I go into my turtle shell and things end up not going well.  That is what I did.  Things got rough, I turned to food, and gained a lot of my weight back that I had lost.  I thought for sure that I wouldn't get to meet you ever again. 

In November I hit my 1 year anniversary with my personal trainer, Justin.  It was not the year that I wanted.  As I looked over the first year of working out with him, I was very proud of some moments and then not so proud of some moments.  Justin and I had a lot of ups and downs, not because of Justin, but because of me.   However, Justin never gave up on me.  He could still see you and was not ready to let me lose sight of you.  Starting in November I vowed to myself to find you again.

I'm well on my way.  I did a 5k in December.  My goal was to run 17 minute miles and I averaged 15:52 miles.  I did my 5k in under 50 minutes and that had not happened in awhile.  That was a huge turning point for me.  I decided then and there it was time to take my life back.  You were there with me encouraging me.  It was so good to see you again.

I had a huge breakthrough the other day.  I actually looked in the mirror last week and thought, "Wow, I look cute."  That is huge as you know.  I've always struggled with loving myself where I am.  I always would say "When I lose weight I will love myself or when I lose weight I will finally be happy."  Everyone  has always told me I needed to love myself right where I was, but I couldn't do that.  I could not look in the mirror and love what I saw. 

Not only have I learned to love myself I have quit turning to other things for comfort.  I no longer suck my thumb, bite my nails, and for the most part I don't turn to food for comfort anymore.  Everything has really clicked.  I'm working out on a regular basis and the weight is starting to come off again.

I know this is how it goes with me, but I feel like some things have really clicked with me that haven't ever clicked before.

I have started off strong this year.  I am excited to see what 2014 has in store for me.  I have a feeling you and I will be meeting a lot sooner than I thought. 

It's so good to be back.  I'll write again soon.  I've missed you. 

Love, not so skinny me,
Melissa